Monday, April 8, 2013

Women Eating Losers

By  Tustin

For 75 years, society has maintained its male population in farms.

At the age of 18, males are moved from the minor farms to the main farms and are processed for labor, although a hand-full are kept whole for one year for their sperm production. The culling selection is made once a year, and is an incredibly hectic, but fun day. Our farm has about 4500 existing stock, and each year we get about 800 new 18 year olds trucked in.Of these, only about 200 will be added to the labor stock.

First, all the stock is tested for strength and health, as there is no use for a weak or sick male. It's a short but very intense physical test, and for the many that fail, a noose is dropped around their neck from behind. An overhead conveyor lifts them up, and carries them slowly over the waiting crowd as they kick and struggle. The lucky ones are dead before they are deposited into the mulch machine at the end of the building. If the body has testicles, they are removed prior to the body being ground up for animal feed. We find that the immediate and graphic execution is very motivating to those waiting for their physical tests.

At any one time, there is almost always at least 5 males using one of the several conveyors. Although this makes for a visually exciting day, several of us are thinking of adding something that would let them have more vocalization.

A handful of the 18 year-olds do exceptionally well on the test, and are moved to the milking room for sperm collection. These few will be milked three times a day for a year, and will each produce almost a gallon of ejaculate, more than enough to artificially inseminate 100,000 women. Those that don't make the milking cut are moved to the auditorium and neutered.

Since we don't waste money on anesthesia or pain killers, it can be pretty loud, and it takes most of the day to get all of them done. A souse chef works side by side with the cutter to collect all the fresh testicles and drops them into a vat of soy and garlic as a marinade. Later they will breaded and baked, and served along with a fresh green salad.

For many, this is a meal we look forward to all year.


  1. That would be so hot, especially if the girls were under 16.

  2. Gawd, this is so HOT!!! I LOVE IT!!!


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